So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
