You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
