awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
