You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
