Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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