Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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