My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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