Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
