i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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