Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Randomize
