I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
