Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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