I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
tell your sister to shave her snatch
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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