i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
