I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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