'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
