are you still at the devil's house?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
