It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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