k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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