one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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