wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
