I'm eating all of the evidence.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
as a side note pls kill me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
