New invention idea: vibrating tampons
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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