I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
