Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
