girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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