I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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