D3 body, D1 cock
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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