I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
