Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
