Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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