420 ftw
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you never un-have a 4some
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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