I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
