I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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