Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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