So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
