I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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