I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
