erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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