It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
