Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
