I must be too annoying 4 u.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
