there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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