If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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