non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize