I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
