Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
