Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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