I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My pussy is not your playground.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
