I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
