i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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