Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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