Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize