Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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