bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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