Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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