My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
